12 things I didn't understand about my parents until I had kids

1. They knew when I was lying, even if they didn't always call me out for it.

2. When my mom let me sleep with her on scary nights, it was as much for her comfort as for mine.

3. My dad wasn't just being contrary; he truly couldn't fathom why anyone would like that song or pay that much for those jeans.

Two Questions for Fargo

When I visit a place from my past, I always carry two questions: What has changed? What remains the same?

This week, I'm in Fargo. So I asked.

My high school now has a water slide, but the strange dome on top of the building remains.

How I spent my summer

The summers of my childhood were LONG. I remember a vast expanse of  hot days stretched out before me, wide open and full of boredom and wonder. I explored the woods behind my house. I played Atari and watched Nickelodeon and worked on jigsaw puzzles. I went grocery shopping with my mom and I called friends in the middle of the afternoon, asking if they could play.

My friends and I rode our bikes to Mini Mart to buy New York Seltzer and Whatchamacallit bars. We rode to our grade school and played on the playground, slightly weirded out by the ghost-like building, quiet and closed. We played endless variations on tag and hide-and-seek. Our parents let us stay out until the sun went down - and although Fargo wasn't quite the Arctic Circle, we felt a bit of the magic of the midnight sun.

Day 10: Homecoming

We did it.

The Wiants drove from Minnesota to Washington, DC and home again. We did it without catastrophe: no accidents or speeding tickets, no burglaries or natural disasters. We avoided being those people walking to the service station for a can of gas (that was me in 1997 on 13th Avenue in Fargo, wearing my Dairy Queen uniform) or the family pulled over on the shoulder of the interstate so that a toddler can go potty in a ditch (that was me in 2009 somewhere outside Kearney, Nebraska).

Day 9: Halfway Home

We drove 600 miles today and are more than halfway home.

It was not a very exciting day.

We had our first Waffle House experience, we saw a couple of possibly Amish families riding horse-drawn buggies across bridges, and we accidentally visited Cuyahoga National Park as part of a meandering restroom quest.

Day 8: Farewells

Our last morning with the cousins was bittersweet.

We persuaded the kids to pose nicely for some photos.

We recreated a group shot from 5 years ago, when William and Evie were still relatively new to the world.

And then we let everyone loose for a dance party.

If the photos appear blurred, well, that's a pretty accurate depiction of the morning's events.

The kids hugged goodbye, as William and Charlotte set off for a short trip while we ventured forth to explore a last bit of DC and Virginia. It's a good thing we leave tomorrow; our tourist karma is running out.

The Lincoln Memorial was closed due to vandalism, and the National Mall was nearly inaccessible due to a presidential appearance and related street closures. The area around Mt. Vernon turned out to be the Bermuda Triangle of iPhone navigation, leading us on a winding and repetitive tour of the great tangled freeways of northern Virginia. By the time we reached Washington's estate, all we had time for was an ice cream break and a few minutes of tree-sitting.

Thankfully, the day wasn't all travel snafus and melting ice cream.

As with each day of our trip, we saw some high-quality people.

We had lunch with our friend Darcy. She's part of the online community that came together when I was pregnant with Evie. We've shared the trials and tribulations of parenting from babyhood through kindergarten, and our second children are only two weeks apart. We've lost weight together, introduced one another to new music, and been in regular conversation for over six years, though this was only the second time we've met in person. It was easy to pick up just where we left off.

We spent the evening in the company of Wiants. Sam's uncle and cousins reinforced what I knew about Wiants: they are friendly (though not necessarily extroverted), clever people with a propensity for goofiness - especially in the presence of children.

Taking a break from the silliness of adults, the kids relaxed with cartoons.

Our voyage of reunions is concluding. No more "You look great!" hugs or "It's been too long" goodbyes.

Starting tomorrow, it will just be the four of us and 1100 miles of road back to Minnesota. Our next reunion will be with the cats, and I doubt they will be pleased with us.

Day 7: More Museums and Fargo Friends

We've been in DC long enough where we're starting to figure things out. Sort of.

We can navigate the Metro with a fair level of competence. We have learned that nobody eats dinner before 7, and the liquor stores close at 10. We might try to navigate our way back to the house without GPS, with mixed results.

This morning, Evie wanted to revisit the Air and Space Museum, so she could show her brother the spaceships. He complied.

We took the Metro -Felix's favorite ride - to get pizza and milkshakes from a contestant we'd watched on Top Chef.

The legs in the above photo might imply we're eating pizza at a not-quite-family-friendly establishment; actually, Evie was photobombed by a Jimi Hendrix concert poster.

After lunch, Evie and I ventured to the National Gallery of Art. She has been wanting to go there for weeks, and she wants to be an artist when she grows up.

She was a good sport, even though she was tired. She patiently sat through a slightly bizarre film on Russian ballet.

She paused at some of the paintings, making thoughtful observations like "Up close, you can see the colors, but far away it looks like a regular picture."

But soon, she grew tired and homesick.

She asked to go home to Minnesota. She said she was having trouble remembering the feel of her cat's fur and the sound of the neighbor boys' voices. She misses the boys most of all.

Like Evie, I was good friends with my childhood neighbors. Jai, my next-door neighbor, and I played horses in her playroom and explored the woods behind my house and rode our bikes in the cul-de-sac. She now lives in Washington, DC. Tonight, we had dinner with her and her husband.

They are fun, kind, wonderful people.

I love when life puts wonderful people right next to me. It seems to be happening a lot lately.

We had 5 years of life to catch up on since our last visit, while simultaneously entertaining two little kids through a four-course dinner at a classy Italian restaurant. How did we pull it off?

Gelato:

And a little bit of outright silliness:

I've noticed something, thanks to this trip of reunions.

You can get older, you can establish a career, you can stop playing in the woods, you can move halfway across the country... But a happy childhood doesn't have to end, as long as you remember how it felt to be that kid. And, if you forget, the important people can remind you.

Day 6: The National Zoo

I am proud to say I've kept up my goal of blogging each day of vacation. Writing is like exercise: it's something I love having done, but starting can feel like a chore. The more I do it, the easier it becomes.

Speaking of exercise, our zoo outing racked up 15,000 steps and 6.78 miles. My Fitbit was impressed.

We arrived via Metro. Felix loved the train ride; don't let his cool demeanor fool you.

Day 5: Sometimes You Just Need a Nap (Washington, DC)

The kids are very happy at their second cousins' house.

There is a bounce house in the basement.

Day 4: Washington, DC

Our morning started in Lexington, about as well as a morning could. I went for a run, we ate homemade raspberry lemon muffins, and we explored Washington and Lee University with our hostess, Sam's aunt Sally, who teaches at the law school.

Evie liked learning about the history of the university and its namesakes.

Felix liked the stairs, the grassy spaces, and the construction vehicles.

Day 3: Virginia

We saw 5 states today: Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, West Virginia, and Virginia. We started the day in Indianapolis and ended it at Sam's Aunt Sally's house in Lexington.

We are all tired.

Shortly before 7 p.m., Evie asked if she could go to bed. Felix chimed in, "I want to go to bed, too!" On normal days, we have to drag these kids to bed at 8:30.

I did not go to bed at 7 p.m., though I probably could have. Driving is hard work.

Day 2: Indianapolis

Today's word was "relaxed." After late-night merriment in Milwaukee, my plan to run along Lake Michigan was sidelined for time with friends, a leisurely breakfast, and a little bit of extra rest. Toll roads and traffic accidents slowed us down, but a low-key evening with our friends washed away any residual stress.

The scenery was pleasant if not especially dramatic: green grass, tall rows of corn, the occasional "Oasis" - a giant food court stretching over the freeway.

Sam remembered eating at one during a childhood vacation to Washington, D.C.. He recalled being fascinated by cars whizzing by below; he remembered a Hardees turkey sandwich and his toddler sister taking a bite of their father's thumb.

Day 1: Milwaukee

Today, Sam and I packed up the kids and embarked on a road trip. Our destination is Washington, D.C., but the journey is half the adventure.

The drive through Wisconsin was lovely: purple and yellow wildflowers filled the median, and billowy clouds drifted across the blue sky. We were surprised by the abundance of adult bookstores, highway patrol cars, and roadside cheese emporia. We avoided the first two but couldn't resist the pull of the third.

The worst part of the day came courtesy of a trucker with a self-satisfied obscenity painted on his cab. I was in the left lane when he abruptly merged left, forcing me off the road. Hurtling along the dirt and grass at 75 mph, I felt the panic of losing control, the fear as I merged back onto the road in a cloud of dust, and the relief when I realized we were safely back on the freeway.

A letter to Evie on her 6th Birthday

Dear Evie,
This is the first year that you'll be able to read your birthday blog, although I'll probably have to help you sound out a few of the words.

Five was a big year for you.

It was a year of learning and discovery. You started school at Excelsior Elementary, jumping into the Chinese immersion program with all the enthusiasm and joy that make you Evie.