20 Things I Discovered at my 20-Year High School Reunion

1. There is so much warmth in recognition. I often found myself breaking into a huge smile at the sight of someone I had forgotten about until that very moment, only to see the same smile reflected back at me. 

2. The things I worried about were not the relevant things. There wasn’t a single moment when I felt judged for my appearance, my career, or dumb things I said and did as a teenager.

3. The best conversations were surprises. I walked away from a few conversations thinking, “That might be more than I ever talked to ___ in high school.” These new old friends were as wonderful as they were unexpected.

4. We see ourselves differently through others’ eyes. It's fascinating to juxtapose your self-perception with classmates' memories of what you were like. The truth probably is somewhere in between, and with bigger hair.

5. Men at a 20-year reunion look more different from their teenage selves than women do. Not necessarily older, just different. 

The High School Reunion Apology Form

This weekend, I’m attending my 20-year high school reunion. I want to have a good time, I want to enjoy the company of my friends and classmates and their politely obliging spouses. I want to drink wine and hear mid-90s grunge rock and reminisce about our big-haired years.

But first, I want to apologize.

I have a complicated relationship with my teenage self. She was a skinny, often infuriating person who simultaneous knew everything and nothing about life. 

What was your first rock concert?

Dear Evie & Felix,

This is one of those personal trivia questions that might come up in small talk or in a team-building exercise at work. Your answer says something about you, your childhood, and your family. 

Mine was Guns N Roses at the Fargodome; I was 14.

Most adults can remember their first concert with no effort, but you're pretty young so I'll fill in some details for you: Rock the Garden 2015, featuring Belle and Sebastian, Conor Oberst, Courtney Barnett, Lucius, and thestand4rd.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I'm Dear Evie & Felix,
You get asked this question a lot.

You'll hear it many more times in your life, and people will expect you to answer with the name of a job.

The Mom Jobs

I was 23. Sam, my fiancé at the time, and I were visiting my parents. By the door were a pair of men’s dress shoes: faded, worn out. Duct tape may have been involved in holding them together.

My mom pointed to the shoes and asked me, “Why haven’t you done anything about this?”

I didn’t understand the question. The shoes were obviously not mine.

“If you’re going to be his wife, you have to buy him new shoes. Can you imagine what your dad would be wearing if it weren't for me?” 

Hide or shine? Finding your professional voice in social media

Did you hear about the CFO who got fired over his YouTube rant? What about the PR exec who torpedoed her career with an inappropriate tweet?

You probably didn’t hear about the banker who met his mentor on an internal social network, the unemployed marketer who found her dream job via LinkedIn, or the corporate communicator who accelerated her career growth by blogging what she learned along the way.

In a world where casual conversations can be shared with the public and archived forever, you have two options: You can hide, or you can embrace social media and use it to shine.

A letter to Evie on her 8th birthday

Dear Evie,
Happy birthday! You woke up in the downstairs playroom, surrounded by four of your friends. I'm amazed by your cheerful moods, since there wasn't much slumber at your party, but chocolate chip pancakes and fairy-related cartoons and matching pajamas and birthday magic make for some happy girls.

Sparkly manicures make us feel glamorous.